i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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