Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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