I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dicks are not precious.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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