it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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