Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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