We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
