I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
