I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
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I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
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I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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