Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize