PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize