Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
