I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
