paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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