So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
