Taylor Swift is so right about you.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
