can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
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You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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