im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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