Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
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I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
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Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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