My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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