Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish my penis had an off switch
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Hippo gnu deer
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
