NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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