I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
