Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
They have beer where we have blood.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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