How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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