Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
