Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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