I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
