Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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