Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
