i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
