Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
