Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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