...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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