Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
