Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
