He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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