the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
