When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
