Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
