3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My feet surprised me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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