Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
