shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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