bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
