Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
