My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
