Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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