I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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