He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
