Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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