Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
