based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
