an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize