We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
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He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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